Thoughts
by Troublesome-monkey-dono
Summary: Ever wonder what our dear Otani was thinking as he watched Risa sob her sorrows away in the arms of Maity? Inside view.


Note: Hi guysss. I said I was going to do another longgg drama story but I guess I'm feeling short right now. Soooo. ONESHOT!! Lmao. I just feel like expressing something out. I dunno what but I feel like expressing it. Probably just a sudden imagination fart but in here. Anyway, I went back to watching and reading Lovely Complex and got this. Yes, because I have to life, I look back at a lot of things. I try to catch all those little things I can add in my story.

Oh yes. Please forgive me for grammar and spelling as always. It's lyk 3 in the morning and I haven't slept yet! Sooo...let's see how this goes.

Summary: Ever wonder what our dear Otani was thinking as he watched Risa sob her sorrows away in the Maity? Inside view.

Thoughts

"Forget it." He watched almost helpless as Koizumi Risa turned her back away from him, clearly intent on leaving. She continued, "I told you before that I give up right? I'm sorry if I troubled you all this time." With that she gave a small wave of her hand signaling her goodbye.

"Ko-"

"You don't have to worry about me you know." With nothing else to say she closed the door behind her as she stepped out. He was left there alone to think whatever she even meant.

"K-koizumi..." he muttered her name and slumped back in seat. What did she mean he never thought of her as a girl. He clearly knew she was a girl. He couldn't exactly ignore that fact considering she was indeed a girl. He didn't mean to sound perverted at the moment but he couldn't exactly ignore the sign of womanhood that he faced every time he turned to look at her. She may look flat-chested sometimes but other times he can clearly see her breasts. He shook his head, he didn't mean it that way. He just meant that...well he knew that she was a girl.

But...did he really? Sure he knew that he was a girl, but did he really acknowledge her as a girl? Perhaps...perhaps he may not act like he knew he was a girl. No, he didn't. He acted as if she was just another guy buddy. Perhaps that was where she was going at. Though...did he even know this till now? He certainly never thought about this situation till she said it. He must be dense as they say.

Perhaps that is why he can't imagine a relationship with her. She was like his best guy buddy. Not a girl best friend. A guy buddy. It almost seemed wrong in his head to date his 'guy buddy.' Yet she wasn't a guy buddy. She was a girl buddy. He frowned. He certainly hasn't figured himself out yet either.

He stared at the floor and he couldn't help but think back to Nakao and Suzukis' words. "_Koizumi has gone through so much_ _trouble because she loves Otani, right_?" He let out a sigh. He knew she loved him. Yes, she tried so hard. She cried out so much tears because of him. And yet...he still thought that there was still this barrier he was afraid of getting near. It was not about height...though secretly it might. It was just that fact that he couldn't think about it.

Though Nobu herself questioned many times, "_What don't you like about Risa?!"_ It's not that he didn't like her. He did like her. It's just...he can't. He can't think of dating her. It just didn't flow his boat. Exactly what kept him back from accepting another relationship with her. Plus there was other people to worry about. He didn't particularly care about the whole school gossiping about Koizumi and him. Though he did somehow agree that she deserved better than 'midget boy.' Someone like Maity was great for her. Maybe Haruka too, if he shut up once in a while.

He blinked. What if this rejection will cause more than a rift between their friendship. He may reject her as a girlfriend but he valued her as a friend. His best friend. He didn't want to loose her too. These past days, he was loosing her though. "I give up!" Her words stung him. Give up? Give up what though? Her trying to be a qualified girlfriend? Or...their friendship itself? She wouldn't give up that easily right? No...she wouldn't would she?

Plus...somehow...he enjoyed her pathetic attempts. How, he didn't know. But he enjoyed it. He enjoyed her pathetic excuses. Her lame and stupid actions. He enjoyed her being around him. He gulped. Perhaps she managed to catch him after all.

With that he swiftly got up for him his seat and ran to the door. He slid it open quickly shouting her name, "Koizumi!" Turning to his right he saw something that made him stop in his tracks. Koizumi was indeed still here. She was sobbing too. To add, she was in the arms of Maity himself. Clearly being soothed and comforted.

He just stared. Somehow everything went blank after that. He didn't know what to feel. He felt angry...maybe jealous. However somewhere mixed with those feelings was remorse for making her cry. Plus the feeling of loosing once again. He lost again. He lost to a person that could do so much more for the girl in question. He could only look away. While he wanted to run up and take her away, he knew that she deserved it.

Yet another barrier he was scared to overcome. Height was far from the reason.

--LINE BREAK--

Note: Done! Okay...well uhmm...self expression over with then! Yes did anyone even understand that cuz I know when I write without looking back, I tend to get confusing. Mmmm...tell me and I'll try to edit. Hahaha. This was my first oneshot. EVER. Happy Dayy!

Another important date: October 13, 2008.

Uhm forgive for the errors as always. Anddd R&R people!! ;P


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